There is something I toss around in my head quite a bit. There is this line people use when they loose someone they have loved for a long time, "At least you got to spend that time with them and love them." What about someone you didn't get to spend a lot of time with. What could have been? It's a catch 22 situation. What really is the answer to that?
Loosing someone you do not really remember puts them in a time capsule. They are perfect, did no wrong, sit so high on a pedestal that no one can knock them down. You yearn for any story to get a glimpse of who they really were. How can you fight this internal need to know things?
Loosing someone you know well, the pain is deep in other ways. You have seen them at their best, and at their worst, yet their worst kinda fades away forgotten. Making them a bit more "perfect" in your eyes. Or worse, perhaps their was a fight you never quite got to take care of.
My children lost someone recently and I find that I cannot find the right words to help them, they are just words. I know how I have dealt with loss and it hasn't been too pretty.
Sometimes there is just no right answer.